What's your WOTY?

WOTY.

Aka: Word of the Year.

This is the second part in the Annual Trifecta that Gretchen Rubin and Liz Craft cultivate every year.

Reminder: Part one is "The List." The list of things you want to do before the end of the year. I forgot to mention that 2024 is a leap yeart, giving you a whole extra day to knock out parts of that list! Small victories, I guess! lol

Anyways. Part 2: Word of the Year.

Sometimes we can set goals for ourselves that appeal to who we want to be, who we wish we were. I'm never going to say that's a bad thing, but it can set some people up for failure instead of success. That's part of the reason I do the List and the WOTY. It helps me to make sure I have a clear idea of what I want out of the year. And, even if my goals are lofty and more about my "future self" or "wishful self" versus the me that is current, then I have a guide on how to make both things happen at once.

Before I deep dive into my word for 2024, let's recap 2018 - 2023.

WOTY 2018: COURAGE

In 2018, we had a lot of changes going on in our family. My husband and I had just gotten married 6 months prior, we had two small kiddos, and were going to be moving. As part of that move, we would be staying with my mom and stepdad for a month. I've always lived with the adage "Men build houses; women make homes." And so, while my husband and stepdad didn't have too many issues, my mom and I butted heads simply because we were both creating our own versions of a "home" within the same set of walls.

2018 was also the year I committed to my health. I signed up for an incredibly difficult program through Beachbody--not promoting or bashing; this was just what I used due to our family situation with small babies. Anyways, I was at my heaviest, most unhealthy self; my mental health was in the pits, and I felt like I was failing at every turn.

In 2018, I needed permission to be courageous. That sounds silly to say aloud, but the truth is: if I hadn't given myself that permission 6 years ago, I wouldn't be here now. So...

So yeah. 2018 was the year I did things that scared me. I made bigger plans than I had allowed myself up to that point. If I compare my goals now to my goals then, 2018 feels small looking back. But that's only because I've had 6 years of growth. Those stepping stones are why I can scale mountains now.

WOTY 2019: Create

Towards the end of 2018, I realized I wanted to do more creatively. I wasn't sure exactly how to fulfill that part of me at first, so my goals were gradual and widespanning.

I took up cross-stitching again. It was something I had done with my grandmother as a little girl, but I hadn't done any in almost 30 years. It was fun to do some small pieces. I found embroidery which is almost as relaxing as cross-stitching. And by that I mean, I curse myself about the same amount when I miss a step or a miscalculate where to put the needle.

I started my original blog. This one was going to be a focus on books. More of a review type situation. I did create in 2019 about keeping up with it, too! I dropped off in 2020 when I attempted the planning phase of starting a podcast. But for a whole year I was diligent in posting and sharing.

I got back into reading. I had taken several years off when my kids were born. I tried to keep up, but it felt like I wasn't there. I wasn't me. And the me of my entire childhood had been a reader. That's what I was known for. I was the nerdy girl who always had a book. I was made fun of in high school for it. What good was all the pain and humiliation of those tumultuous years if I had nothing to show for it now?

*I'm only slightly joking. I mean, I was massively bullied in high school for being weird. It took getting diagnosed with ADD as a 36 year old woman, and "probable Autism tendencies" to unpack that baggage. But yes, my mind honestly hated myself for not reading if for no other reason than it made the name calling and teasing of high school seem valid in retrospect.

That year I had a goal: Read 19 books. If you check my goodreads now, you'll see my goal is 230. Again, stepping stones to mountains, y'all.

Stepping stones to mountains.

WOTY 2020: Reflect

After two years of "Go big or Go Home" mentality, I decided to spend 2020 reflecting. I should note here: I usually choose my word no later than mid-December the year before. So I'd chosen reflect in December 2019 as 2020's word.

Little did I know that I would spendm most of that year in constant reflection.

My kids were home 24/7. My husband wasn't because his job was still mandatory--HVAC tech for the 4 power plants in our area means he's like really essential! So it was just me at home with our 3 kids. Our daughter is incredibly smart and had all sort of questions. But how do I answer them to educate her without scarring her?

My son was practically non-verbal at this time. 3.5 - 4.5 years old during this year, we were dealing with physical acts of frustration daily, hourly, by the minute... because he's also smart; only he didn't have the words our eldest did. As someone who relates 87.9% of my life to movies, let me use one now to paint you a picture.

Have you seen Richard Dreyfus in Mr. Holland's Opus? No? Well, first off, go fix that. That movie is true perfection and I love it so much. Anyways, Mr. Holland and his wife have a son who is born deaf. During the 1960s - 1970s, there weren't as many resources to help parents and caregivers. There's a scene where the son is maybe 7 and he's trying to get his mom to understand what he wants. She's handing him things as she's talking to her husband. Her son starts throwing things on the ground, frustrated. She loses it. She breaks down, stomping her foot, screaming "I just want to be able to talk to my son!"

That scene as a kid made me feel sad. But... as an adult mom with a tangential version of that same thing: I felt seen.

2020 was the year the world slowed down. I think, if I hadn't already mentally prepared myself to do the same, that I would have caved under the weight of it all.

WOTY 2021: Worthy

After the dumpster fire that was 2020, I needed to feel like I wasn't dipping back into the abyss of mental health I had fought out of 3 years prior. That's how "Worthy" came about.

I wanted to feel worthy. I wanted to do things that made me feel alive and bold and brash. I wanted to look back and see that I was still growing and changing.

I also wanted to stop giving time and effort and energy into things that weren't worthy of my time, effort, and energy.

In September of this year, I literally tiptoed up to my husband and word-vomitted the following to him:

"So, I have this super crazy thought. Idea. Thing. Erm, I've like always wanted to be a writer. I actually wrote a lot as a kid. And you know I like to read. Like a lot. So, what I mean, is like, I thought maybe I could like... write. A book. A romance book. But you know I don't have to. It's probably stupid. You'd be embarrassed. It's fine."

My husband looked at me and told me to go for it. I spent the entire month of November participating in NaNoWriMo drafting my first book. I sent it what I thought were Betas Readers but it wasn't Beta Reader ready. AT ALL! LOL. I made so many mistakes with that book, but it was the ceremonial "popping the cork" moment I needed. I don't think I had even finished drafting that book before I had the idea for an entire SERIES of books. I jotted everything down and created countless "notes" on my phone for plots and characters.

This book has since been pulled because as much as I love her, she wasn't pub-ready and I can't find the brain energy needed to make the changes. I need a little distance so I can look at her with clear eyes.

WOTY 2022: Content

Once I made the decision to publish a book, I inadvertantly made a few other decisions. One of those being: I was going to have to be more active on Social Media.

Look, I am of the "Facebook was called the Facebook and was only available to college kids" generation. Like, for real. I'm that old. So I'm not a newbie when it comes to posting about the totally innane things I'm doing. I've even got embarrassing photo albums with titles like "We Fly High, No Lie" in regards to a wheelchair basketball tournament I worked for my internship at the University of Alabama (obligatory ROLL TIDE... and moving on!).

So, you would think this isn't a biug deal.

Wrong! So Wrong! lol

This is the part where my husband started to rethink his immediate support of my writing! lol My husband is not exactly anti-social media, but he sees little point in posting about every little thing that's going on. He sees it as like a resource, tool. Need to know if your MMA gym is open? Check their Facebook page. What was that gadget that's going to solve all my work problems? IG had an ad for that. You get my drift.

Anyways, I made my WOTY Content for its dual meanings. One is Content: subject matter or topics. Posting about my writing. The process. The characters. Anything and everything that has to do with being a writer.

Two: pleased and satisfied with what one has or is. This was something I was struggling with. I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to have books out there. I wanted to be someone that readers looked for upcoming releases. And yet, I suffered from imposter syndrome. I had to learn to be content with who I was. The image I was comfortable presenting to audiences. I know sex sells--I write it! But I'm not particularly comfortable wearing skimpy clothes or showing a lot of skin. I'm not one to hand over intimate details to strangers. I don't promote myself the way a lot of the other indie authors do because that's not who I am. And there's space for all kinds of writers, just like there's space for all kinds of readers. I needed the reminder that my style is just as valuable as the incredible authors I consistently compared myself to.

Gotta love a word that can emcompass so much!!

WOTY 2023: Sage

This word right here.

This word right here?

This word was CHOCK FULL of meaning!

I got the idea for this when I was listening to Gretchen Rubin's intro for her sister. Shs' often referred to Liz as her "sister the sage." And VOILA! I knew my word for 2023.

Sage is a wise person. Someone who sees things clearly.

Sage is the color of growth and all things new.

Sage is what you use to purify a space of previous evils and negativity.

This word encompassed so much of what I wanted to manifest in my life. It also was a way to easily reduce decision fatigue. Whenever I was faced with needing to buy or replace something, I would just focus on things that were green. I like the color anyways, but it meant I didn't have to think too hard about "this or that?" I didn't need to compare a hundred items when 3-4 would do.

Hey! Work smarter not harder, right?!

And now... the reveal and explanation of my word for 2024:

WOTY 2024: PINK

I took the concept from 2023 and sort of expanded on it.

Pink is obviously a color. It's a color that I don't wear often. Or at all, honestly. It's a highly feminized color, which--if you know the history of color you'd realize--is weird since it was associated as masculine due to the volatile and heated elements it portrayed (whereas blue was considered calming and therefore feminine). I typically wear "harvest colors" like burgundy/wine, burnt orange, mustard,  olive green, navy, plum, black and white; these colors extend into my decorating and daily use items, too. Not big on prints. The color pink will have me looking for ways to brighten my surroundings without having to think on it too hard.

Pink is four letters. Four goes into 24 six times (also 2+4=6 which has nothing to do with this, but my brain in always making those connections). When making my 24 for 2024 list, I was able to easily break the goals into 4 sections with 6 items in each.

Pink is four different letters. I used this to help me categorize my goals. (See previous post for that breakdown). This will help me figure out if things that arise this year will better me or keep me stagnant.

P stands for Pride: Will doing this make me proud?

I stands for Intelligence: Will this make me smarter in some form or fashion?

N stands for Novelty: Will this create a sense of fun or new experience?

K stands for Kindness: Will this better someone else?

BONUS!

I'm sure I could write an entire blog post on this, but it's so similar to WOTY, that I'm just gonna give it to you now.

Question of the year is something you can ask yourself whenever you feel like you're struggling to decide if something aligns with your goals, List, or WOTY. I haven't been doing this one as long so I don't have as many examples.

When my WOTY was Worthy, it was a simple question: is this worthy of ym time, effort, and/or energy?

And year, my word was broad enough with its definitions I was able to sort things that came up with just the word.

This year, my QOTY is: Who does this help? The fact is, sometimes I need to clarify whether or not the thing I'm contemplating helps me or helps others. I got this from my best friend who was telling me how she has to ask her girls "Are you coming to me for advice or to listen?" Neither are wrong or right, but having appropriate expectations limits the chances of discontent or feelings of being llet down.