Mistakes aren't life bombs...

Look. I get it. No one likes making a mistake. No one.

And for those who say they do-- Boo-boo is delulu (Is that what the kids say these days? I don't know. I'm old.)

The fact is, we're going to make mistakes whether we like it or not. So it's not the fact that we made them that will destroy us. It's our reaction when we recognize mistakes we've made.

Want examples? Want to feel a bit less alone in this? Fine, I'll offer myself as the sacrificial goat here.

Recently I worked with a group on an anthology project. Nine authors put together chapter-shorts for a holiday themed anthology. We released the project into the wild and let the world know about it. Readers who wanted to would go to the link we gave them and request a FREE COPY of this anthology.

*This all sounds sounds so cool, right? Well... oh hell. It was really cool. No lie.

Then, about 90 days after the project released, the exclusivity clause on our works was released and the authors were able to promote their works individually. When readers signed up for the free anthology, they gave their email to receive the project. When the hold released, us authors were given the list of readers to add to our newsletter subscriptions.

"So, Rosie... where's your mistake?" Great question. Short answer is I made a lot back to back!

Long answer:

First: I thought I could create a Welcome email sequence for these new readers while under the influence of Covid! I could barely keep my eyes open enough to put bread in a toaster... why did I think I could create CONTENT for READERS?!?

The content wasn't the worst. If I had checked the formatting, I would actually be proud of what I sent out. But... I didn't check the formatting.

I used a template for this that my mailerlist already had, but incorporated my brand color scheme. When I did that, the unsubscribe link became the same shade as the footer! Like... COME ON!

Did I do anything particularly wrong? No. Not really. But I also didn't check this simple thing and I was too exhausted to really give this a "fine tooth comb" pass through. Which is how I irritated more than a few newsletter subscribers. They weren't sure why they were getting emails from me and didn't really want them. All totally fine... if the link weren't dang near invisible!

Were you aware that it's ILLEGAL to not have a visible unsubscribe link? Yeah. Try finding that out after two rounds of emails went out + on the tail end of a pandoramo-illness!! I don't recommend it. Just go ahead and learn from me!

Second: I sent the welcome email sequence without double checking the dates of the releases.

One person--a friend--reached out and asked if I meant to send as many emails back to back. Welp... no. Not really! Especially since I had my monthly newsletter coming out soon. If I had stopped and considered all of that, I would have refigured some things so I wasn't flooding their inboxes.

Third: Some readers were confused why they had received emails from me in the first place. They signed up for the anthology with the understanding that they were going to be getting a newsletter from the original author they found the link through. They didn't know they would be signing up for all NINE of us!

Was this my fault?

Eh... Yes and no.

Yes... because while I wasn't the only one promoting this work, I totally could have made sure to indicate that downloading that work meant you were joining nine newsletters. All the authors have great content, but not every author is for everyone and maybe-- just maybe--they would have thought for a second before accepting.

No... because there should have been a disclaimer at the point of download that let the reader know--up to the last possible second!!-- what they were agreeing to.

So. Does this relieve me of my part in the confusion?

HAIL NO! I still screwed up. I still wasn't abundantly clear with my initial welcome email why these new readers were getting something from me. That's on me.

As someone who suffers from RSD: Rejection Sensitivity Disorder, it feels like a personal attack anytime someone approaches me with a critique. I want to move continents when they criticize me.

And if they say they don't like me or act like they don't like me? Oh. Well. That's it. I'm worthless.

So I'm not saying that accepting responsibility for your mistakes will ever be easy. As Mel Robbins likes to say "it gets easier without ever being easy."

So that's a large-scale muck up. But mistakes can happen on so many levels. Did I pull chicken from the freezer to cook, trying to save money after the gift-giving season? Yes. (Pat on the back). Did I forget about it for four days... rendering it borderline infectious? Urmmm, yes. Yes I did. (Back pat turns to Gibbs-slap.)

Did I drive all the way to the store-- 30 minutes from my home in the middle of nowhere--to grab supplies so my son can DIY his Valentine's Cards... and two weeks early so we're not stressed? Heck yeah I did!

Did I leave my wallet at home, realize it only when I was parked in the parking lot, and have to turn back around? **Hangs head in shame.

Did I get on my daughter's case about name calling, trying to teach her to be a good human? Did I remind her that name calling is never a good idea, that it is never productive or positive? Yurp!

Did I then call my husband a dibshit (lovingly and jokingly) when he claimed to be the smart one? -- I'll just excuse myself from this now. Because, yes. I did do that.

Do I attempt gentle(r) parenting every morning and fail most days? Yes.

Do I watch reels and stories and posts about how to effectively communicate and be a good partner while also losing my ever-loving mind on my partner? God-dang it! Yes, okay!

See, I make a million mistakes every day. I make the same ones enough to be embarrassed. Personal and Professional mistakes happen and I cringe, I shrink away from people when I see that I've made them.

I'm not here to tell you that making mistakes is "okay." I won't absolve you of the responsibility of owning up to your mistakes. I won't even say that some day you'll wake up and be all laissez-faire about it.

Because, if you're like me, that's just not going to happen.

But, if you're like me, you can take pride in the work you are doing to do better, be better. When you see others making mistakes, you can give them the grace you wish would be given to you. And when you see that they can't accept their responsibility, you'll recognize how it feels to be on the receiving end--ensuring you do better towards others.

And, when you have to deal with others, you can walk away with your head held high.

You don't have to be proud of the mistake.

Do things and take actions so you can be proud of your reaction to it.