It's crunch time...

I cannot believe I am thisclose to having yet another book out in the world. It feels incredible and surreal all at the same time and I'm not sure that will ever change. I'm also not sure I want it to.

It got me thinking: Are there times in my life where I've felt like this? Where I've got the urge to keep going but I'm also scared out of my mind that if I keep going the thing that I want might actually happen?

That's the thing: I live a lot of my life like that. I'm realizing now that's not how a lot of the world does things though.

My husband, for example. First off, you should know he's a Questioner. That's part of Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies. (Obliger, Upholder, Questioner, Rebel.) He's a tried-and-true Questioner who tips to Rebel. What does that mean? It means he will research every inch of a topic, almost to the point of paralyzing him into indecision. He'll ask me what I think and I'll consider what he's told me. I'll tell him- and he'll do the opposite! In the beginning o our relationship, this felt like an attack. Like, WHY even ask what I think if you will always do the thing I don't choose.

It took years of learning him, and then reading Gretchen's book for me to really get why he does this. It's not malicious. It's the way his brain is wired.

So... how do I live with this?

The biggest thing I have to do is set a boundary from the start. I will tell him... Okay, you know what? Let's just give an immediate example.

At one point he wanted to talk about moving. Great. Cool. Fine by me. As a former military kid, I've moved a shit-ton and it was always fine. I asked where he was thinking; he asked if there was anywhere I would veto right off the bat. I listed two states specifically just because I'm not interested in living there at this time in my life, and one general region. He agreed to those parameters and told me where he was thinking.

He asked me to help me look into stats, data, houses, schools... all the info. It was never enough. As soon as I'd get settled on the idea of one area, even as much as one state, he'd change his mind and want all that same info on another state.

It went all like this for MONTHS! Off an on for 3.5 years, but really ratcheted up over 6 months.

Finally I lost it. I told him: New rule. Decide right now if we're moving before next summer (2025). He said, probably not. I told him: Then we're not discussing this again until January 2025. Now when he brings it up, wants to discuss the merits of one area vs another, I just tell him: It's not January.

It drives him crazy! but he also gets that I'm not going to spend all my mental energy on something like this anymore.

Want to know how I would have handled all this?

Pick two states (JUST TWO!) and done the research on them. Probably would have liked to live near friends or family so talked to the people I know in those areas to see what the expenses, recreation departments, and quality of living look like. Looked at job opportunities for us both. Hopefully it would have worked in one of those two states more and then we could look closer at specific cities.

And then I would have moved.

That's it. 4 Months TOPS to figure it all out. Not years. I make a decision quickly and stick to it -- generally. Barring any catastrophic information being presented I couldn't have gotten earlier in the decision making process.

It's how I decided on my grad school. I interviewed at a few places. Loved one boss and student staff-- so went to Miami. Bam. Done. Housing? Eh, I'll figure that out. (I did, but it was chaos, lol!)

Same with my first job out of grad school. And then when I started photography on the side. And then again when I started writing.

I just wrote and wrote and then sent it out before I could think too much on it. And then I got feedback, incorporated what I wanted/needed, and then published. -- Actually, this explains why I don't do many long-term pre-order situations with my books. I just decide to publish and BAM! They're on the market! lol

All that to say: I'm in the crunch zone. I am actively, FRANTICALLY working through the tail end of the writing/drafting/editing/proofreading/etc process. All because I decided that August 31st sounded like a good day to publish Man Coverage!

What was I thinking? Well, probably that Labor Day feels like the end of summer and I wanted to release this book "in the summer 2024" and that logically (in the most illogical sense of the word) means that I must have it done before Labor Day. Which is 9/2.

Now what doesn't help? Getting a migraine this week. Seriously. The kind of migraine that wipes me out. Has me moving from my bed to laying on the couch. I slept in my car while my son had football practice. I barely ate because the act of chewing hurt. And then I was asleep again by 9pm.

And that, my friends, is why this post is late!

So, now that I'm wrapping up this ADHD personified post, I hope you were able to follow along! I hope too that you will go find Man Coverage when it releases. I actually did set up a pre-order for 8/31 so if you maybe, kinda, might want to have it sitting in your device, ready and waiting for you on 8/31... you an go pre-order it now!

https://mybooks.rosiepburke.com/mancoverage